Brave Enough

We were outside in the dark; innocent smiles, under the stars. The summer night air never grew old to our young hearts, just like how the stars felt like meeting a million new faces every time. It was always the same, yet we never lost that feeling of wonder. We were laughing and free, and singing the songs of crickets with the roofs of our mouths.

 It was hide-and-seek-in-the-dark, while the grown ups settled in around a bonfire. And then it was daring each other to stand in the field behind my house, which, in order to get there, you had to traverse the scariest path; but once there, it was the most beautiful place in the world because of how the stars shined so brightly. Only the bravest of us saw that view. And those were the days where we learned that bravery was running the right direction when you were afraid.

And now I go inside and I turn on the lights, and I stare at my computer screen. I read a book. Maybe I do some writing. No blanket tints, or flashlights in the dark, or sneaking out to catch a glimpse of the stars. I realize that I can't hear the crickets from my bedroom window. And I never turn off the lights unless I'm going to bed. 

Have I grown afraid? Where is the girl who takes the time to run through the woods at night just so she can see the stars? Where is the girl who dims the lights and listens to the world fall asleep? 

Sometimes, I forget to let things be what they were meant to be, even the stars. I've realized that it is bravery to be able to accept who you are. It's bravery to turn out the lights and just sit there with yourself and your own thoughts, and your own feelings. Something about the darkness makes a person vulnerable in more than one way. And perhaps if we can learn to be authentic in the mirror of the night, then we will have more strength to be when we step through the door of a new day. 

I know that I am brave enough to see the stars.